The Chronicles of a Pregnant Man

The wrenching sounds startled me, in sleep reverie I dragged myself from bed. The bedside clock flickered, darn 5.30am. This is the fourth time this week. I fetched a damp towel and opened the bathroom door. There he was hunched over the porcelain bowel, splattered with last nights dinner. This man needs to see a…

Another Angry Black Woman

I hate rants, really I do. The last thing I want is to be another typical black angry woman. It’s almost impossible not to fall in this band wagon when you literally live in a third world cud-del-sac driven by patriarchy and alarming ignorance. This Saturday I attended a bridal shower and it took everything…

In A Perfect World

In a perfect world, Mufasa would have lived longer than ten minutes in the Lion King movie.   In a perfect world, Itai Dzamara would be home with his wife and kids.   In a perfect world, Michael Jackson would be here instead of Justine Bieber. Whitney Houston would be here so would Aaliyah, left-eye…

5 Ways to Make 2017 An Awesome Year

Look what we have here, the beginning of new era of being great, distinguished and eminent. The year 2017! May this year be good to you; may all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled and may God motivate you to indulge less in office gossip. How are the new resolutions? Have you managed to hold…

THE UNDEAD: ZOMBIES

I hate to admit but I have an extreme, irrational fear of the zombie apocalypse. Subsequently vampires terrified me, but not anymore after they made them sparkly, fall in love with humans and what not. In spite of the fact that vampires love to wine and dine victims before sinking their fangs in their victims’…

Dear Side Chicks

This is a letter to all side chicks in the world and over, from married women. I write in my own capacity as a woman of clarity and directness. This might leave you in damp spirits but serves its purpose to paint over grey areas that you seem to be ignorant of.   Firstly, I…

Are Men Really Trash?

If I had a dollar for every time I read, “Men are trash” on social media? I would be a multi-billionaire. I have been at my whims trying to restrain myself from addressing this plague of bitterness. Last week I watched with horror as one female rose to object and was coerced into silence.  …

Cheers

Cheers to the year 2017! Here is to another year of awesomeness of great magnitude. The plans I have for this year are crazy! 2017 come here you, I am going to wear you like a bracelet, moon walk all over you like ceramic floor, wipe the floor with your face, raid your villages, after…

Chenai (The Finale)

Tariro had just turned 18 years and signed up for the army. I had blossomed into a head turning young lady and pretty much used to the gawks and wagging tongues from all kinds of perverts. Working as a data collector for a research institute I managed to make a decent income to take care…

CHENAI (PART 3)

I can never forget the night Tariro and I packed our small backpacks and snuck out in the night to our aunt’s house. She was my mother’s older sister who lived three blocks away from us. Seeking refuge from her was the last resort. Earlier on father walked in to my room stark naked and…

Chenai Part 2

Mother rushed into the house and ordered me to go to my room. I sat in the forlornness of my bare room, wondering how mother was going to dodge this one. Why did she put up with this abusive goat strung on De Clerambault’s Syndrome. Yes he brought several women to the house and mother…

Beginner’s Guide To Natural Hair

GUEST BLOG BY CHENGETAI V. CHIREWA    “I can’t comb my hair”,  “I can’t wear my hair natural because its too coarse and matted”,  “I haven’t got time to maintain it”,  “I don’t know how to maintain it”   These are some of the reasons/excuses that I’m met with when people express how they wish…