Reclaiming Women’s Sexuality

Winter ABC 2021: Day 6

Disclaimer: The men referred in this entry are guardians of patriarchy. So please refrain from saying “not all men” especially if you are benefitting from the same patriarchal system that is being admonished.

Today is the day for uncomfortable truths about women’s sexuality. Uncomfortable to toxic fragile masculinity, narcissists, gatekeepers of patriarchy, and misogynists. Female sexuality is perceived as a subordinate to male sexuality. There are long standing traditions that psychologically exploit and control women. Sexual freedom is ostracized as unpleasant and offensive.

Sexuality is an important aspect of being human. This includes sexual orientation, intimacy, reproduction, roles, identities and pleasure.  Sexual repression of women became a norm over centuries of consistent degradation, enforced by varying religious beliefs, moral principles, cultural and socio-economic influence. In modern day Africa the movement for a collective cultural transformation that relegates male domination is criminal to male egos. We should have open and cordial dialogues of unlearning the disparaging attitudes on sexual values. For a gender that overly sexualizes women, its quite the paradox to also expect women to stay in a box of enforced modesty.

Women should not be ashamed of who they are, its ridiculous for men to navigate and impose on women-based issues according to their male perception. In a world of fairness, the same restrictions should also be imposed on men. We have the human right to be expressive in whatever ways we deem fit. To be able to wear anything of choice without the fear of being sexually harassed. Misogynistic rational punishes those who do not conform to the straitjacketed ideology of sexism. Consequentially slut shaming, catcalling and rape culture become weapons of control.

You belong in the wild if you think a cleavage is an invitation to sexually violate a person. A piece of clothing does not determine how a person should be treated. The world is full perverts entitled to our bodies and protected by a system that allows them to behave like wild animals. So, we must hide our bodies to avoid your perverted minds to wonder off? You are a depraved sociopath is you believe an open thigh is a mating call. Honestly it cannot be that easy to veer of your normal senses by just the sight of a skin? It is a mental illness that has been harbored as men’s nature.

  Women must openly talk about their sexuality and display intimacy without judgement. This encompasses the female anatomy, sexual desires, and reproduction. I must commend patriarchy for stifling our voices and bring the spotlight on men. The system is effective because men really have been the center of our lives. Not enough is talked about pleasuring women but the African child goes through genital mutilation for her future husband while her boy agemates enjoy their childhood. It is always the woman taught how to please a man and not vice versa. Which is laughable because a woman’s orgasm is 10 times stronger than a man and lasts 23 seconds longer, can have them in a string of multiples while enjoying both vaginal and clitoral climax. A lot of women have not enjoyed the peak of their sexual because of this one sidedness. The sexual experience of women has to change.

Let’s talk about pregnancy, giving birth and the aftermath without men being irked out like they never dropped out of a vagina. I love the twitter hashtag #clots4clouts. A movement of women freely having dialogue about menstruation. We now have a voice to speak up and fight for freedom of expression without the fear of social rejection. It is time to change the temperament of conversations towards our sexuality. Its okay to be a woman, to have sexual relations and enjoy it with whomever we want. To openly talk about our sexuality without treading on egg shells. It is our right to sexual freedom and expression.   Let us cultivate a conducive and safe environment for women.