I hate rants, really I do. The last thing I want is to be another typical black angry woman. It’s almost impossible not to fall in this band wagon when you literally live in a third world cud-del-sac driven by patriarchy and alarming ignorance. This Saturday I attended a bridal shower and it took everything in me not to gag at the horse crap that was being spewed.
Why are we raised to be personal robots for men? Seriously, as I sat at this shower and listened to all the advice more like poison for the bride to be; I realized that we have been indoctrinated by a backward culture that we perpetuate patriarchy. A good wife functions with a yes or no logic, no questions asked, whatever her high and mighty husband wants, so shall it be. Basically, women have to bend over backwards to please their men lest he might stray and fall in-between the legs of another woman. This also means that you have to lose your individuality, your beliefs, and dignity just to keep a man from cheating. C’mon, are you fucking kidding me? So, marriage is all about a woman at her wits end, doing anything between heaven and earth to distract a man from cheating? If that’s the case, men are sex driven animals, so shallow and stupid that they are one bad meal from jumping to the next woman. Ha! That is a severe dysfunctionality of emotional black mail. Slack and he will slide. What a bunch of illogical, misleading and deceptive nonsense.
How many times have I heard that a man cheated because his spouse was somehow lacking in something that he had to venture elsewhere? This brain crippling mindset is appalling. I watched this young bride-to-be, throwing mechanical smiles as her self-esteem slowly seeped out. Her happily ever after scenario was brutally crushed by acute ignorant, untutored and inferior reasoning that constantly reverts us back to sexism. The same prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination that we fight each day is what we impose on ourselves. This is funny because these women have raised their sons under the same unjust umbrella against women. It will simply never end. We still have a long, long way to go.
This is what I had to endure this Saturday, without the aid of a few glasses of wine I would have stabbed myself in the head. So, as a woman you have to clean, cook, cater to your man’s needs, lose yourself for him because if you dare not oblige, oops he is going to slip and slide in another cooter. This is pure black mail, why can’t a woman just cater to her man without fearing that he may cheat? Men, how do you feel when you are reduced to scums like this? Is this what it takes to keep you around? Really? Food, good sex, and a woman who has no mind of her own? I hope y’all watched Eddy Murphy’s Coming to America. The man escaped the same robotic type of woman to find another with more substance, personality and independence. I would love to think there is a set caliber of Eddy Murphy-Prince of Zamunda type of men out there. I am not opposed to catering to your man but that threat hanging as if I am indebted to him sucks out the romance and love out of it. Let his love, adoration and mutual respect inspire me to cater to him, not threaten me with infidelity. That is just ludicrous, if you ask me. This is why at my bridal shower, I invited men, hubby himself was there and there were both female and male speakers.
Another thing ladies, I always say this. Do not let these cheating ass leprechauns steal your self-esteem. If he cheats, sweetheart, it’s not your fault. Him cheating has nothing to do with you, believe me you are not lacking in anything or not good enough for him. Never put that on yourself. Do not project a man’s short comings on yourself. Infidelity is caused by so many things, mainly idiocy, childhood abuse, Oedipus Complex, etc. If a man really loves you, he will embrace all of you, including your perversions and flaws. After all, love conquers all. Remember, You is kind. You is important. You is beautiful.