In A Perfect World

In a perfect world, Mufasa would have lived longer than ten minutes in the Lion King movie.

 

In a perfect world, Itai Dzamara would be home with his wife and kids.

 

In a perfect world, Michael Jackson would be here instead of Justine Bieber. Whitney Houston would be here so would Aaliyah, left-eye and Tupac instead of Miley Cyrus and One Direction.

 

In a perfect world, side chicks would be non-existent, because every single woman on this planet would carry a certain dignified and proud je ne sais quoi.

 

In a perfect world, a certain president of Zimbabwe would have been abducted by aliens and his wife institutionalized for cocaine addiction.

 

In a perfect world, I would be a gazillionaire and employ servants whose sole purpose is to hand me bacon and milkshake everywhere I go.

 

In a perfect world, Nicki Minaj would still be a mad talented, flat chested, underground rapper with a no ass. Instead of a mainstream rapper with more plastic in her body than a leggo factory.

 

In a perfect world, bond notes would be monopoly money.

 

In a perfect world, my bank account would be fatter than Rick Ross in 2008.

 

In a perfect world, I would buy my mother a mansion and she would never have to work a day in her life but live the remaining part of her life as pampered queen.

 

In a perfect world, Daniel Gore would be here. Posh Kudzai Mugweni would be here. Tafadzwa Assumpta Ndoro would be here. Celestino Ndoro would be here. Kudzai Ndoro would be here.

 

In a perfect world, I would have real conversations with my father instead of unrequited WhatsApp chats, desperate Skype request, lonely Facebook messages without a single response, voicemails…

 

In a perfect world, Eminem would be black.

 

In a perfect world, Zimbabwe would be the richest country in Africa. A nation with a high sense of aggressive entrepreneurship skills as Nigerians, cultured as South Africans, meek as Zambians, carefree as Angolans and endearing as Sierra Leoneans. A nation of gentlemen. A nation of queens.

 

In a perfect world, this nae-nae, dab, pants dropping generation of kids would be wiped out by the English plague of 1666, before they fast track us to the zombie apocalypse.

 

In a perfect world, my enemies would have front row seats to my unending success before they slit their wrists from bitterness.

 

In a perfect world, the girl with the fraudulent Brazilian weave would actually realize that her real Kunta Kinte hair is waaaaaay better.

 

In a perfect world, I could walk around in a micro mini and not a single person would bat an eye-lid.

 

In a perfect world, people who publicly announce that they hate peanut butter, avocado and sadza would be arrested and then pardoned for temporary insanity.

 

In a perfect world, strutting around in heels, kneading dough, squatting for that hug from my son and of course my unbelievable mad sex skills would earn me a spot in the fitness team.

 

In a perfect world, watching ‘Keep Up with The Kardashians’ would result in loss of a considerable amount of brain cells.

 

In a perfect world, Malik would have an older brother named Malakai.

 

In perfect world, Eminem, Nas, Jay Z, J Cole, Big Sean and Tupac would make a mad collabo with Usher murdering the hook and bring Armageddon upon in the Rap and Hip-Hop world.

 

In a perfect world, Lil Wayne would not be a name of a rapper but a toddler ride at an amusement park.

 

In a perfect world, Africa would have built Africa, not Europe, not America… just AFRICA.

 

In a perfect world, m a k a I t a h  r o g u e would be a household name worth billions.

 

In perfect world, this hideous FUPA would translate to ass.

 

In perfect world. In a perfect world. It’s a perfect world because I am in it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. In a perfect world nothing would be there to be thankful about or to ‘that which doesn’t kill you would make you stronger’ for we all woulder rather be more of weak than stronger

    Liked by 2 people

  2. evanyambu says:

    In a perfect world I wanna still laugh to your sense of humor😂😂😂. Eminem should be black! Ikr! And Mugabe man, man doesn’ t he tire from been prezidente! Enemies hmmm we all wanna💣🔪while in those front seats! I hate avocados like HATE, don’t arrest me though😂😂.👏 to the realest post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Makaitah says:

      Lol girl you seriously need a psychic check. Moses ate an avocado before he parted the red sea. Martin Luther King ate an avocado and he had a dream. Do you know the depth and harm you are causing yourself sister. You said you hate avocados ? Be wise and rethink 😁😁😁

      Lol thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. evanyambu says:

        😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. leemutekede says:

    Wonderful. I have been waiting for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mbalenhle says:

    As for “In a perfect world, Africa would have built Africa, not Europe, not America… just AFRICA.” YEESS! 🙌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Yasssssss mami!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Maryam says:

    All of this is so true and hillarious omds 😂😭👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    Liked by 1 person

  6. harlemgirl36 says:

    Love this…..the zombie apocalypse part tho (yes this generation is lost, but I don’t think they should all be killed lol) in a perfect world they wouldn’t be jerks lol

    Like

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