I do not believe in relationship advice, I do not seek it, trust and believe this is a merry bandwagon that you might consider jumping on! I am not trying to put therapists and psychologists out of work here. But, I believe my $0.02 could actually help a lot of confounded situations.
In a relationship there are times that you are so torn you have no clue on how you are supposed to react or act. Tempest winds of demonic activities may blow in your direction. Lets say a cheating partner ( you lot love to sip on this tea of cheating partners. Sorry I am not going into that) So you find out that your partner cheated and you are caught in a turmoil of emotions. You plan their death meticulously as you laugh hysterically. Maybe toy around with the idea of genital mutilation? Sadly most people begin to swim in that pool of self doubt and wallow in self pity. The most nagging of all, the urge to run to any listening ear and divulge all the pain. You know that adage about talking about a problem makes it half solved. Yeah yeah, the heart seeks company in perilous moments. Its only natural we are human beings. In a sucky way we are what we are.
Where am I going with this? Isn’t it awesome to hear someone echo their disapproval on your cheating partner per se? What a low life! Such a pathetic excuse of a man and what not. Its like food to the soul. Soothing and gratifying. The feeling is temporary of course until you are all alone with a drenched pillow and your heart threatening to disintergrate. Isn’t this the perfect time to seek for some sort of clear headed advice? Should i leave him, should i stay, should i retaliate and cheat too? What anyone needs is the consoling presence of empathy. If anything , a mediator of your emotions not Judge Judy who is ready to give a sentence to your situation. If a person tells you to make decisions that you are not even sure of, sweetheart you are in the firm clutches of a devil whisperer. Run with your heart and your life. Only you and the force field of the situation can decide for YOU.
People have all types of dysfunctional, rare and crazy relationships. Some are okay with polygamy and can settle with a man who has a crowd of wives. Others are bisexuals, they are okay with their partners sleeping with the same gender equation. A smidge of humanity that believe in open relationships. There all kinds of relationships, married couples into group sex and all sorts of weirdness. You can not tell anyone to leave their partner, or to stay. The heart is the boss here, the decision maker even when logic lacks in hindsight. Have you ever considered that maybe your friend,that loooves to give you relationship advice is a foe? A wolf cloaked in sheep skin? Secretly happy for your downfall. Probably the moment you get off the phone crying, they are doing hula hoops? Counsel in the right direction without pushing is the only closely related remedial of relationship advice. Also if the counsel has been requested. For example:
Her: He beats me everyday but I love him so much!
You: How do you feel when he beats you? Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life? Have you considered how your kids feel?
You didn’t tell her to leave him, but you threw in all he spikes that trigger the mind to make decisions that the other person was not even anticipating. I am not a relationship expert, bare with me but when relationship advice begins to feel like decisions are being forced in your head maybe you need to shy away from it. We are all different with different beliefs. I was at some bridal shower and the soon to be bride was being told to shave her cooter for her man. I sat there thinking, everyone present does not even know the said man! They don’t know his preferences, likes and dislikes. What if he likes the cooter to look like the jungle of Jumanji? And why is he not present to proffer his own opinion than some stranger who hardly knows him speak on his behalf??? I mean, you can’t paint everyone with the same brush! Some men hate deodorant, they are turned on by the raw natural scent of your body. But you are being given advice to drown yourself in a can of deodorant.
Talking about these bridal showers, how about we invite men to speak for themselves? Or maybe have someone talk to the groom, get all the info before we run on assumptions and misguided conclusions. And also how come men don’t get a shower where they are taught how to treat women and all that? Okay! My train of thoughts is derailing maybe because i have a bridal shower of my own this Saturday. Sigh, yeah and I prefer counsel by the word of God, not people who think they know what my man likes or dislikes. I don’t know, but we have arrived at my main point if concern.
Keep your relationship private, pray before you make decisions and if you need a MEDIATOR for your relationship problems go to a professional. These Judge Joe Brown friends of yours will only make your relationship a Jerry Springer Show behind your back. Also keep your relationship problems off social media. There a lot of opportunists who a waiting for that crack, so they can take advantage and break your relationship when its in the most vulnerable state.
I am sorry I am not blogging that much, my life is the Samora Machel and Leopold Takawira Intersection. BUSY. You know you love me! xoxo