Dzidzai always wore unsightly, ill-fitting pinafores that made her look ten years older. Her dreadlocks were always tired in scarf, she wore no make-up and along with moccasins that gave her the stealth advantage when moving around the house. She stood up, locked her bedroom door and set her dreadlocks free from the scarf. They fell on her back, long black strands cascading down to her waist. Sitting on her dresser she began her daily routine, more out of habit she systematically applied make up on her face, and took out a stringy red dress along with the black Louboutins. She stared at herself on the full-length mirror at the major transformation, drinking in her voluptuous curves and the beauty out pouring in a reflection of oblivion. This was always the highlight of her day, she chuckled at herself and mouthed the words at the mirror “beautiful Dzi” The dress revealed an over spilling cleavage, body hugging the curvaceousness of her structure. The heels elevated her behind in a glorious posture. She smacked her red lips in derision. Yes, she thought. I am coming for you.
For all her fifteen years Madei hardly knew her mother. She was just as familiar as the furniture in house, present but lacked intimacy. She had accustomed to the weird set up of her family, after all that is all she knew. Sometimes she felt a lump on her throat when she saw her friends engulfed in the maternal love of their mothers. Her father was the only love she was aware of, besides Rugare’s love and affection, which was shown through incisive teasing. The Hillside neighborhood was too small; everyone was in each other’s business. Gossip was the main source of strife; Maidei felt the condescending looks of pity from other women. Mrs. Maro from next door in particular tried to help her with female related problems. Maidei was immensely grateful for her nosy gossipy meagerness. Mrs. Maro helped Maidei with her first period and immediately gave her the long and torturous lecture on sex.
At home she had stopped trying to converse with her mother. Rugare had gone to college and her dad was never at home. She kept to herself and more than half the time she made clothes that were inspired by celebrities from the Internet or TV. She was like a sponge when it came to absorbing inspiration. A natural seamstress, fallen in love with making and designing clothes from the age of ten. On her 15th birthday that was the first time in a long time that she received any attention from her mother. She found a note on her bed, ‘Happy birthday Maidei. – Dzidzai” This was the first real interaction from her mother in ten years! She had virtually reached out to her. She sat on her bed reading the note over and over again. Studying her mother’s handwriting with Bradley hand loops. As impersonal as it was per signature she used her first name instead of her title as mother, it meant the world to her all the same.
After the birthday note from her beleaguered mother, it seemed like her mother was leaving subtle messages for her. It almost felt like she was whispering to her. The cup of coffee on the table every morning, the fresh towels in her bathroom, the ribbons she found on her bed and the pink floret handkerchiefs that she found in her school satchel. She reveled in it all, it was steamy hot affair with her mother. She never whispered a word to a soul about it as she enjoyed these little riddle ridden interactions. It was on a particular night, deep in a slumber that Maidei woke to a heavy aura in her room. She opened her eyes and was startled to see her mother standing by her bedside. Dzidzai had spent an hour in her daughter’s room amazed at how she had grown into a beautiful young woman. Maidei nervously sat up, it seemed her mother wanted to tell her something, she stared back at her, urging her to speak, praying and hoping that she would say something. Behind those reclusive eyes there seemed to be a thousand unspoken words. Mother and daughter stared at each other in the dead of the night exchanging emotions that could not be spoken. Dzidzai brought her face close to her daughters and softly said “Zarah” then she slowly back paddled out of the room maintaining eye contact with Maidei.