5 Facts about the Scramble to Eritrea that Zimbabwean Men Should Know

There has been the famous hoax that Eritrean men have been asked by the government to marry more than one wife or risk being jailed for life. This has caused a melodramatic internet frenzy from my Zim men. Well hold your horses fellas. Allow me to bring you back to earth.

1. The Adonic gods of Eritrea

Eritrea has gorgeous men! Not only are they a sight for sore eyes, they are also known for being gentle spirits and absolutely charming. In 2014 LSV Magazine ranked Eritrean man to be the hottest in Africa http://lsvmagazineonline.com/2014/11/18/19-african-countries-with-the-most-attractive-men/ What are the chances  for an average Zim guy against these hotties? Next to nothing.
Let’s feast on some Eritrean eye candy. Shall we?

image

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Compared to my Zim men:

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I rest my case.

2. Language Barrier

There is an absence of communication between people who speak different languages. Making it hard for my Zim men to strike a basic conversation with the ladies of Eritrea. This alone is a female repellent. More than half of the population speaks Tigrinya. Tigrinya word endings vary according to the
gender of the person you are speaking to. It is by any standards a very difficult language to learn.

Below is an image of Tigrinya Characters:

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I rest my case.

3. Nigerian Men

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Nigerian man have flooded Eritrea as we speak. They have acquired four Eritrean wives each, leaving nothing to salvage for my Zim men. Nigerian men have superb survival skills. They don’t need charm, good looks or the need to learn the language since they are famously known to be ahem, “well hung.”

Let that sink in.

4. Economic Factors

Eritrea remains the world’s fifth least free economy. The financial system remains very underdeveloped. All banks are majority-owned by the state, and private-sector involvement in the system remains limited.

Are you prepared to up root your life and begin a polygamous journey? Can you support two families under this cold economical climate. You are still living with your parents. You probably have 6 months rent arrears. Can you afford a plane ticket to Eritrea. Can you even afford a cab to the airport?

I will leave you to ponder on this.

5. The Price for Polygamy

So you are thinking you will lead a glorious life of ménage à trois with two beautiful Eritrean beauties? Think again. Do you have the stamina to consistently and silmutaneously satisfy two females. Do you know you are going to end up using sex enhancement pills.? You will probably fail to “arise to the occasion” further damaging your ego and bruising your manhood resulting to a spell of depression. You can not even multitask, how are you going to handle the strife of two women under one roof? Double chores, double portions of in laws. Can you feel that migraine? The rest of your life buddy.

You are going to face rejection, probably broke, alone, lost in a foreign nation and unable to communicate with anyone. You will sit on the road side and sob your soul out. Go home to your mothers, don’t come back to us because we have no time for your unstable asses.

Disclaimer: This is a slanderous post to effect humour. Offence is taken, never given.

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28 Comments Add yours

  1. Deb says:

    Kenyan men are said to be rushing to Eritrea as well. Some good points for them to ponder

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Lol I am sure they are thinking twice now😂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jorcil says:

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      😁😁😁😁😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. gloverdeb says:

    I read to the part of Nigerian men and I burst out in laughter. Nigerians they never cease to amaze me.

    It is really hilarious! Thanks dear for sharing, you light up my evening.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Lol there is nothing as awesome as knowing that you made someone laugh. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Don’t mess with them Nigerians 😂😂😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Joel Jemba says:

    LOL. . . . LOL …. LOL … LOL.. LOL ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      You read the unpolished piece please read again. I hate that you read the mediocre version!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Joel Jemba says:

        I have read the new version as well! it’s the winner actually!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Makaitah says:

        Awwe thank you thank you, you are far too kind 😊😊😊😊

        Like

  5. AtimMercy says:

    Lol… Even Ugandan men need to read this.
    Very funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nyarie Musanhi says:

    You’re just soooo funny Maka hun xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Thanx Nyarie! 😁😁😁😁😁😊😊😊😊😊

      Like

  7. verojanuary says:

    Not too well today but the laughter this piece has brought out got me feeling so much better 😂😂😂😂
    Great stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Aww thank you and get well soon!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. 😂😂😂 This had me LOLing! So true! Kupi kwavarikuda kuenda?!…..Errrm in other news, who is that second Eritrean dude? Dhemmeti! Might just find myself in Eritrea lol! 🙈

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Hahahahah! Nhai nhai ! Ngavatidzikamire…those niggas be fine 🙈🙈🙈

      Like

  9. ummmmm they sure are eye candy…… lol

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Colleen says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Maka ka….!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Colleen says:

        Asi wavagona cause eish tanga tanzwa ne that fake story like geez relax! LOL

        Liked by 1 person

  11. LOL @ #3 Nigerian Men

    Liked by 1 person

  12. bennymakachi says:

    Hahaha 😂 The Zim and Nigerian men reference.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Makaitah says:

      😁😁😁😁😁😁

      Like

  13. dvaal says:

    In all seriousness, a couple of those guys -especially the one with the hat -are really gorgeous. This is a funny post. I look forward to reading more.
    http://www.fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Makaitah says:

      Lol thank you 😊😊😊😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

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