Moments of Wallow

I am stripped down and vulnerable.
Lost without those who help me carry
my burdens, and I am feeling
incredibly alone. Questioning my sanity
again, I replay all of my words and
actions judging each move. I miss
some of the people who I love the
most. I feel the desire to give up and I
am searching for the strength to fight
it. I am still learning how to pick myself
up when I am down…spinning all
around….searching for my normalcy. It
is so fucking hard not to sink to the
bottom when all the negativity and
disappointment is pulling me down
slowly, sinking in thick dark mud. I feel
it closing in on around my neck, and I
swing violently trying to fight my way
out. This life is overwhelming. I know I
cannot just stop fighting. The tears fall,
anxiety rises, rage begins, but I will
smile through it all because I have no other choice.

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