Subconscious Fear


An antagonistic force repressing me in a formity of darkness and terror. Horror thick in the atmosphere but ignorant of its nature and yet awares. Is this hell? Somebody help meeee! Please! Trapped in the claustrophobic subconscious state. I hear her laughing, where are you? I see her coming towards me. But how can this be? You are dead; I vividly remember your coffin descending into the grave!!!
Frantically I start calling the name of Jesus! I cannot hear myself, I can’t open my mouth, and inside I am screaming JESUS! JESUS! I cannot move anymore…then I hear deafening screams, oh God she is in labor, I hold her hand trying to soothe her with my presence but she turns to me and screams “get out of here you witch!!!”  Her face begins to shift, changing into…what the fucking hell!!?? Nicki Minaj?? Rah rah like a dungeon dragon! I am starting to feel like a dungeon dragon. Romans revenge? I am  holding a pina colada dancing the night away!!
I am so hungry, gosh I am famished, the world is swirling around me I cannot feel the ground. I am falling and falling. I don’t want to die. What is happening?  My stomach growling, I need food, a plate of sadza on the table, undertones: finally. Sits on the table ready to eat then the plate vanishes! I need the toilet, my bladder has brimmed over, oh it’s trickling down my urethra … behind the tree I squat and release it, enjoying the sweet orgasmic relief. 
Immense discomfort ensues (cold and wet) Barking dogs , I start running, a pack of vicious looking dogs chasing me, am too fast, riding the wind I can hear their distant whimpers of defeat. Stopping by a river and across it I can see my fiancée standing there. Help me baby I seem to whisper. He turns and begins to walk away, nooooo, wait!! Please don’t leave me! He keeps walking until he is gone. Burning hot tears rushing down my face I fumble for my phone. I can hear it ringing…
Wide awake I answer my phone in a daze I hear the cheery voice of my fiancée, “Morning my love! Hope u slept well” …you wouldn’t believe the nightmare that I just had; oh dammit I peedd in the bed.
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