I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that plate of hot wings that had the sauce that came in a bottle with a flame retardant cap on it…but no I had to be “tough” and show all those people in the restaurant that I was a badass… 20 wings and 90 minutes later, I’m in the bathroom screaming for death to take me now and wishing a gay snowman would walk through the door because I would have totally been gay for the snowman at that point. I mean, I almost got arrested because I ran into a Dairyboard vendor and tried to give myself a soft serve enema. I did send my boyfriend out to buy snow cones. You ever try to wipe your ass with a snowcone? After eating something like those wings you will. If anything good came out of this, I can say that if I was ever at risk for colon cancer, I’m pretty sure it’s cured now.
I think I will just let my boyfriend pick out our date nights from now on. (-_-`